As a parent of six kids, three of whom are teenagers, I have learnt the importance of building a good relationship with your kids based on trust, communication and understanding.
Your kids will open up to you naturally and you will not have to worry that they will not confide in you when they have a problem.
As an educator, I have often encountered parents with communication issues with their children and learnt lessons that have prevented our children from being disengaged from the family.
One needs to understand that just by giving your child a rich life filled with family activity does not necessarily ensure the development of respectful and obedient children. I have also observed that parents nowadays like to pamper their kids with lots of luxury goods and expensive overseas trips. Such treats,on their own, will not earn the respect of their children.
Rather, time spent communicating with them and establishing relationships is more important.
Although both me and my husband have business work schedule, we will take time off to interact with our kids often; listening,observing and discussing interesting topics with our kids. When one of them felt too stressed with his school work, we will go for a long walk after dinner to allow him to relax. Sometime the whole family will go to a movie just to enjoy a family night together. This will do your kids a great deal of good and at the same time promote healthy family bonds.
As parents, we must also constantly reflect and realise we can be wrong at times.
Once we have made a mistake, do not attempt to hide it. Share it with our children and sincerely ask them to accept our apology. This way, they learn that mistakes are not the end of the world and reconciliation is a possibility.
I have seen many parents who has too much “pride” and refuse to admit their mistakes even they know that they are in the wrong.
They might be able to “save them face” for the moment but its not worth it as your children will lose their trust on you and will not value your words or advises highly in the future.
Of course, when they make a mistake, they too have to accept the consequences and be punished — but only after the punishment is explained to them.
Ultimately, parents are responsible for the way their children turn out.
If we focus on establishing and developing values such as respect, honesty, diligence and self-confidence, our children will not be easily swayed by peer pressure, be it at school, the playground or workplace.
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